Update II

 So I... sort of... managed it....? 

I got to about 8:30pm and begun to feel really weak so I decided I had to eat something. I ended up with rice, cheese, some quorn picnic eggs and some chocolate. I had about 1021 calories which isn't amazing but eh - it's not bad. Today I'm going to try again, I started my fasting app up again after I ate last night and I'm going to see how far I can get with it.

I weighed 156.4lbs today. Which is absolutely fucking DIS-GUS-TING but it's much better than I was before (168lbs, EURGH). So my weight is going down. This makes me happy. 

I'm not sure what we will eat for dinner tonight as it's the last day my boyfriend will work at his current school (where he's been training for his teaching qualification) and I think emotions are running a little high. Bless him. He has worked SO HARD and I'm so proud of him.

I just wish I could stop feeling sorry for myself. I feel like whenever I start talking about anything on here I always revert back to the "woe is me" mantra but honestly this is my journal so I do what I want haha. 

Mr Jeff is behind me munching on his food - we got him a little ball that holds his kibble so he has to move it around to release some to stop him grazing all day. I think it's been working, he has to lose a bit more weight I think but he's a good boy. I love him. 

I'm not sure if I even mentioned that we moved again, did I? Yeah we moved out from the icky basement flat - I know I said previously it was cute, which it was, until Linda the Landlady came back and then it became really un-fucking-tolerable really fucking quick. The Others that lived above were SOO NOISY, the floorboards creaked us awake every single morning and the flat was just mouldy and poorly ventilated and shit. It was a good start for us because we needed it, but it definitely got old really fast and we outgrew it super quickly. 

So we're in Chapeltown, now, near my Dad, and it's MUCH better here. We're in a second floor flat so we actually have light! And windows! AND DOORS! I've never been so excited to have windows and doors before lmao. The basement flat was stifling us. This place is small but it does its best for us for now. Eventually we'll have to move, but we plan on hopefully getting a mortgage when we do move so that we can have a house of our own. We have big dreams of weddings, houses, children... but we can't afford any of it right now so those plans will have to have a pin in them for now. I'm just happy I've found my person in Rich. He's honestly the best I've ever had. We work so well together, he's just warm and loving and lovely. He's actually calling me right now, haha. 

Anyway. My weight is on the way down, which is good, I'm going to keep looking for jobs, which is good (ish) so we'll see where I end up.

 🌙🌟

Current Music: Vespertine - Holy Fawn (We've got the ambient nostalgia goth going on).